Valentines Day.

Valentines Day is coming up. And its one of my favorite holidays and I wish I had time to get into the holiday spirit, but considering our debt and our bills, its hardly anything I'm excited about. We're thinking of ways to resolve this debt situation which sucks big time, but it is our fault for putting ourselves in this situation. I need to realize that the things I do to hurt other people end up just hurting myself in the end.

But just because we dont have much money this Valentines Day doesnt mean it has to be a shitty one, right? Our first Valentines Day together, I wasnt expecting anything at all. I never had a Valentine before my husband (17 and never had a Valentine? How sad. My boyfriend's always broke up with me before holidays, jerks). I was surprised when we got to my house and he had a stuffed animal, a huge box of chocolates and a card for me! I had only gotten him a card and the Queen of the Damned CD (because I broke his on accident... it was in his pocket and I sat on his lap. Srsly who keeps their CD's in their pockets?! Anyway, that CD was later stolen by his older brother. Ugh). And we cooked dinner together (Hamburger Helper)! We were broke high school students.

So why cant things be like that now? Just because now I'm 24 and not 17 doesnt mean that he has to go all out and buy me Tiffany & Co (or in my case, Wicked tickets) or anything flashy and pricey. We're still together, we're still so much in love, we still care about each other and we're not married. Shouldnt just being together be enough? I dont know where I got this crazy idea that now that we're older it should be more "grown up".

Truth is, if he got me nothing at all, I dont think I would mind. I just want to spend the day with him. Curled up on the couch watching Food Network like we do all the time. I just want tight hugs and forehead kisses.

Though, some Ferro Rocher wouldnt hurt :)

I dont know what our plans are for this year, maybe the usual. Todai for lunch and just being together after. Or maybe skipping Todai, not sure yet. But I do know I have to go grab a gift for mom and dad and husband before everything is sold out! I didnt realize Valentines Day was coming so fast already!

A piece of me in: February 10'

OMG I cant believe I forgot about this! I was thinking about it all last month too!

I like:

• My new Palm Pixi!!
• That Nicolas Dromard and Neka Zang remember me by name!
• That Valentines Day is coming up, its my favorite holiday!

I dont like:

• Our bills situation...
• That its still been freezing cold!
• I dont have enough time to update my blogs lately.

I want you to know:

• I've been super super busy lately!
• I hope to stay home an entire weekend sometime so that I can update my blog layouts!

I've planned:

• To change my last name next week.... finally!
• To change my blog layouts.
• To attend a new school, I really hope it works out.
• To still see Wicked once a month :)
• To sell A BUNCH of my makeup that I have not used or even touched! <<>

I want to say to someone special:

I love that we're married. I loved that you were alright with driving all the way to SF yesterday just because I missed Eddy on Wednesday. I love that even though you're not as obsessed with Wicked as I am, you still talk to Neka and Nicolas with me. I love that you support all that I do and I love that you love supporting me. I'm sorry I've been snappy lately, somethings just making me unhappy and I dont know what it is! But thank you for taking time to calm me down and kissing away all the worries. I love you. Always.

I got my Palm Pixi!!!

YES! Husband finally gave in yesterday before class and I got my adorable Palm Pixi and we switched phone providers! He got himself an HTC Hero, which is pretty awesome. It has A LOT more apps than the Pixi does. I'm so excited! We can watch TV, download apps, steam Pandora and a bunch of other stuff on our phones. Yayyy!

I'm going to mourn the Wicked today for the 4th time, I'm pretty excited. I always get excited when I see Wicked haha! It's Eddy & Patty's last week so I'm hoping to be able to chit chat with Eddy for a bit and grab a picture with him before he leaves us!

I'm planning to redo all my blogger layouts and get a domain up for my beauty blog sometime soon, I just havent really had time to do anything lately. Even with classes only 2 days a week, I feel like I dont have any time since most things we have to do, are closed on the weekends, booo!

Alright, time to get ready, I wanna grab some $1 oatmeal at Jamba Juice today :)

Busy :(

I suck. I've been trying my best to update my blogs and send off packages and all this other stuff and there just arent enough hours in a day or days in a week to get everything I want to get done, done!

Tried to get classes this semester, which was hard because 1) ALL the classes filled up within 8 hours of the sign ups opening... which is crazy, I've never experienced that before 2) people were circling around the overflow parking lot like it was one of the main 4 parking lots my school has... which means... no parking, not much hope in getting a class 3) the teachers decided this semester they're going to give priority to their previous students. Wonderful. The 23 out of the 26 of us who WERENT a previous student didnt have a shot at the 3 slots open for late add. Wonderful. So yes, this semester pretty much sucks.

On the upside, I have a PE class that I've taken for the last 4yrs. No need to spend extra money on books! And it'll get me semi ready for my PT training.

Other than that, been trying to find a job, trying to find time to change my last name since we FINALLY got our marriage license, trying to figure out what to do about our bills (why do men make stupid decisions without thinking first?!), been trying not to start screaming and bashing my head against the wall (that sounds like it would be a GREAT way to get rid of this stress, except for, I'll probably end up with a HUGE headache) and since the weather is nicer now, husband is going to start prepping me for the Air Force.

Yes, I'm joining the military.

And the first thing that popped into my head? Who's going to maintain my emails and blogs?! Of course, my husband being the loving amazing person he is (when hes not being lazy), offered.

Why am I joining the military? Well for one, I was suppose to join after high school (to the Army) but my mom made a big deal about it for some reason and wouldnt let it go, so I ended up not going. And I kinda regret it, I think I shoulda had just gone anyway. So, I've always wanted to go. Besides, I think it'll be good for me. Like I told my husband, its like throwing a princess into the military, I need to un-princess myself. And I think if I get through this, I'll believe in myself more. I'll be so proud of myself for once. My life will be much more organized and I wont feel like I'm doing nothing in life. I think it'll be a GREAT learning experience for me. And an exciting journey.

I'm part of the 3% of Americans that suffer from full blown OCD, and I'd also love to be part of the 3% of Americans that arent afraid to join the military. Wouldnt that be wonderful? To be part of two different statistics completely opposite of each other?

Grrr cold weather, grrr!!

I dont hate cold weather (I had to delete my previous sentence lol!) but I'm not loving it at the moment either. It was nice and warm and sunny when I was getting ready for school yesterday morning. Well, on our way to school, as soon as we crossed the bridge, there it was... fog.

Today it was really dark and cloudy, which is probably why I slept til 1:30PM, it didnt look like daytime just yet! Argh. And then, as soon as I decide to record a video (finally, after a month of not recording any videos), it starts raining. And it gets darker outside. There goes my brilliant idea to record a video. I need better lighting in my room! Grr.

I'm also not liking the cold weather right now because... cold weather makes me pee a lot! I know its not just me who has this problem! Seriously, during the winter, I pee like every 15 minutes. I'm not even kidding. It's so frustrating!

I have a ton to do today, and I know a ton of things wont get done... my OCD is acting up, big time due to stress and bills (at least I'm aware!) so, that sucks. I'm hoping to push through it later tonight and just get some cleaning done anyway. I need to.

I got my ears flushed (FINALLY) the other day. Everything is like 5 times louder. It's kinda weird. I'll post a blog about it on the beauty blog sometime soon (hopefully later tonight or tomorrow).

My spending is coming to an end...

I grew up spoiled. I know I did. I dont act like a spoiled brat but I do expect to get everything I want. Yes, I grew up spoiled. I grew up a Daddy's Girl but for a good portion of my life, the money I spent was money I earned myself. I've been paying my bills since I was 17. Phone bill, internet, etc. And that was with a $6.75/hour job at KFC. I never had to buy food, on the upside lol!

Now that I'm older, it's a little harder. The things I want are more expensive. I'm out of a job right now and no one in my area is hiring, so things are a little hard. Scratch that, they're extremely hard right now. In fact, right now, I feel like screaming my fuckin head off.

Married. Broke. In debt.

Not exactly the glamorous newlywed year you expect. Or plan out in your dreams. I'm sure no one wakes up thinking "oh man when I get married, I want to be broke and in debt!" but who am I to blame for this? But myself? The wedding did play a pretty big part in this. In fact, had there been no wedding I probably wouldnt had struck out my last remaining credit card. But life never turns out the way you want. Everything you do is a crossroad, is a stepping stone and is a fork in the road. Its just harder to know you're making the right decision when you dont know the outcome of the situation in front of you.

My husband says he may not re-enlist. And this worries me, it worries me because I dont see how we'll survive if one of us doesnt enlist. It worries me because I know if he's not in something solid, hes likely to slack off and sit around all day playing video games instead of doing something productive. And it also worries me because I'll be enlisting.

Military is something I had planned on doing after I graduated high school. And a huge part of me wishes I had just gone and dove right into it after high school. Maybe I would had skipped OCD, nervous breakdowns and debt. Maybe I wouldnt had passed Boot Camp and spent my whole life feeling sorry for myself. I want to enlist. I think if I make it through Basic, I'll come out so much more prouder of myself. I'll know I can get through anything. I know it will benefit me psychologically. I know it will be a wonderful experience and I know I'll feel proud of myself. Of my life. And I can sit here, and imagine how wonderful that would be. To feel that way. But being at the starting line, I cant help but be... scared. Scared because no matter what my friends who have been through Basic or my husband, their words can be helpful, but nothing can really prepare me for what is to come when I get there. I know I'll be extremely homesick. I know I'll miss my bed, my room, the carpet on my floor, my car that I hate, my dog, my cat, my hamster... I know I'll miss my husband, picking up the phone and calling him for no reason, I'll miss blogger and checking my email and listening to itunes. I'll miss being up-to-date with Wicked or Glee or the newest MAC collection.

And it makes me think I cant do it. There's no way I can do it. Not to mention the physical part. The PT tests. I cant run, at all. I can do push ups but I cant run. There's a chance I might have asthma, and it would crush me to find out if I do.

I'm sorry if this entry doesnt make sense. But I just had to talk. I dont feel any better, but at least I got some of it out.

And the entry was totally drifting away from the title, sorry about that.

I take that back...

I thought it was almost Spring...!

The weather has been really cold and icky lately. It storms like crazy in the morning. I saw flashes of lightning on the freeway yesterday (finally! I'm a huge fan of lightning, I've been waiting for a year and a half for lightning around here) and now we're getting tornado warnings... in California?! Earthquakes sure, that's nothing new but TORNADOS?!

Is it bad that if I were caught in a tornado I would totally be looking forward to landing in the wonderful world of Oz? Maybe I can tell the Wizard he isnt wonderful and I can tell Glinda it's okay that Fiyero ran off with Elphaba and her travel bubble is awesome and that the Tinman is my hero? Okay maybe those were more of Wicked refrences, but still.

Anywayyy...

School starts this week but my classes dont start til next week. I'm hoping it doesnt still storm next week. Finding parking the first week of school is hard enough without a storm distracting you.