Tag: 10th picture.

I was tagged by My-My! I'm always so lazy when it comes to tags lol!


rules:
* Open your first photo folder
* Scroll down to the 10th photo
* Post that photo and story on my blog
* Tag five {or more} friends to do the same

My boyfriend & Flixie napping.

Flixie... Flixie... oh how I miss him =(. This pic was taken 2/26/08, two days before he died. Flix was over two years old, for a hamster that's ancient! Their life span is about a year, so at this point he was an old old man. This was hell week for me, it was when he couldnt move his limbs any more (he had multiple strokes, from what it looked like), he was having a hard time breathing, he wasnt eating unless we fed him, he wasnt drinking unless we had the water bottle in front of him, he couldnt walk more than a few steps without getting tired and taking a nap. It was depressing. And I had the boyfriend come over everyday because I knew Flix was going to pass soon... and thankfully we were there when he passed.

Seeing this picture again actually made me sad. Even though he passed over a year ago, I still cant watch his video's without crying. I still cant read entries about him without crying. Looking at pictures has gotten easier, but its still hard to know he's gone. And now that Martin's leaving for the USAF, I dont know how I'm going to stay sane without Martin or Flix here.

Why am I so worked up over an itty bitty hamster? I've raised hamsters since I was 9. They have amazing personalities if you actually pay attention. Of all of my hamsters, Flix meant the most to me. He was my best friend, when OCD and Bi-Polar hit me hard in 2006, I would go nuts. I'd get upset and throw things around in my room and scream and he'd wake up, run up to his door and just look at me. And I knew I couldnt keep doing this, I couldnt keep letting it get to me like this when I had a baby I was scaring all the time. I had no friends back then, everything was just so hard... me and Martin were having problems and everything just felt like it was falling apart. It was the loneliest year I've ever experienced and I'd always come home to Flix and everything would be better. He was like a little dog too, I'd tell him he cant come out and play unless he drank water first and he'd always drink water. Its like he understood everything I was saying to him. I'd share my tortilla from my burritos from Taco Bell with him after work, I'd share my rice when I ate in my room... sounds crazy right? But I will never forget him. And even though he cant talk or anything, he helped me through so much.

I miss you fuzzybutt!

Tagged!

I was tagged by ectini! Kinda lol.

Rules: Tell your readers 10 things about you that they may or may not know, but are true. Tag ten people with the award, and be sure to let them know they've been tagged (a quick comment on their blog will do). Don't forget to link back to the blogger who tagged you.

• I didnt get into makeup until I was 23. I mean I had one shade of lipstick I'd always wear in high school (and usually when I wore it, it meant I was either pissed off or not in a good mood) and pressed powder (which in reality was wayy too light for me). Eyeliner was a huge never ever! The reason why I got into makeup? H.I.P bogo's and discovering NYX!
• I was got OCD in 2004 but wasnt diagnosed until 2006. That's how long it took me to force myself to go to therapy. I have contamination, intrusive thoughts, hoarding and a slight checking problem. When it was at its worse, it was really really bad. Say I was doing laundry and I was taking the clothes out of the dryer, if something brushed up against the outside of the dryer I would have to rewash EVERYTHING. There were times when I would wash my clothes twice in a row. The anxiety was exhausting.It was damaging my relationship with my boyfriend and my parents. It has gotten a little better, but my boyfriend still has to completely change his clothes before he can come in my room.
• I've been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years. I swear it was just our 5yrs last week! We were both the only two held back a year in high school from Leadership so in the new school year we were always the two who had to set up everything. We were really good friends though and I dont know, it kinda just happened. But there was a lot of drama involved, which I dont mind so much now cause it helped us trust each other more. We're both silly and we do a lot of dumb shit together.
• I'm a pro when it comes to hamsters. I've been reading and raising them since I was in the 4th grade. I love small animals. But since my baby boy died last year I havent had the heart to get another hamster. I still miss him everyday. But if you ever need advice on hamsters, feel free to ask me!
• I was never really into video games growing up. I mean besides your Mario World's and Mortal Komabts and Street Fighter's... okay when I was a kid I was a total tomboy I loved video games and I watched WWF and WCW like it was nobody's business (NWO & DX!) but when I started dating I was totally not into video games anymore, besides DDR. When I started dating my boyfriend he got me into StarCraft which I swore I'd never play and ended up addicted to. That opened up a gate for me lol. I started playing FFXI, WoW, Maple Story, Gunbound, Kingdom Hearts, Guilty Gear XX, I attempted Smash Bro's but I suck at it. And a bunch of other games for the Wii, DS, PC and PS2.
  
• I use to be really really into web & graphic design. Since I got on the internet in 2000 I was always making website. I loved learning HTML, it was so addicting. Then that drama with my boyfriend happened and I was being stalked by 5 different people (on and offline) and so I stopped blogging, I stopped making web sites and five years later I decided to start up again. I feel like I'm starting completely over since people use CSS and XHTML (wtf is XHTML?!) now. So its kinda... depressing but I'm determined to re-learn all of this.
• Somewhere on the internet (my old journal) is a blog entry about how I lost my virginity. In detail. Oh how I miss when the internet wasnt full of stupid people and everyone in your graduating class!
• Me and my brother havent talked in 5 years. And yes, we live together. Crazy huh?
• My brother, my boyfriend and my dog all share the same birthday.
• I'm completely utterly obsessed with Disney. Everything Disney! The parks, the movies, the person... everything! I LOVE Disney. My goal is to work there. I havent figured out the details but something good will come up sooner or later!

I taggggg...

• Christy
• Will
• Toni
• Dana
• MzFili
• Tanya
• Rai
• Ray
• Lisa
• Chomsiri