Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Busy busy busy!

My wedding is in a few days. A. FEW. DAYS. As in... today next week, I'll be married. That is so insane to think about! I'm seriously freaking out. I feel like I'm too young (even though I'm not), I'm not ready, etc etc. He's excited though, isnt it suppose to be the other way around?! Isnt that guy suppose to be nervous and the girl's suppose to be excited?! Goodness. I know why I hate the idea of marriage so I guess it's no surprise I feel like this. But I am excited to be marry him. It's just so weird, I cant help but think back to when we were just friends trying to piss each other off at school. And to when we started getting closer and he'd tell me everything to the first hug, the first time we held hands and our first kiss.

He's still my best friend after all these years, he's literally my best friend. I tell him everything. He reads me so well and sometimes that can suck but most of the time, its comforting to know someone cares about you enough to be concerned about how you feel.

With the wedding coming up quick, we havent even packed! I dont even know what I'm going to pack! I have a ton of things to do, and no time to do them (I blame Christmas for taking up two days lol). Hopefully I get everything done before we leave!

Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Can you believe that? It's already Christmas! December went by so fast! I didnt even get a chance to enjoy it! Christmas shopping is done and I feel pretty accomplished. Finished wrapping gifts last night, so thank goodness for that! I hope next year I can actually enjoy Christmas =)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I discovered GMH on tumblr last night. And I cant stop reading it!

The world can be a harsh and unforgiving place and sometimes you cant help but wonder why you're even here. Or how things can possibly even get better. But for me, on the days when I lost all hope in people, a random stranger always changes that.

I remember being angry one day and I just wanted to get out of the house. I found myself at Albertsons looking for chips to snack on while I sit in my car and mope. An elderly man joined me, searching for his favorite chips and struck up a conversation with me. For no reason. That conversation, lifted my spirits. And every time I'm in that chip isle, I always think of him!

I worked at Linens N Things for 9 months. And working in retail can be horrible sometimes, customers can be rude for no reason. I was having a bad week, I dont remember why. Maybe fighting with my boyfriend and getting crap at work and dealing with OCD... but I answered the phone one day. The lady on the other end of the line was setting up for an event and she was looking for a certain type of table cloth. I'm not really allowed to leave my register but no one else was around and the table cloth was placed in a section across from me during that time so I figured I'll just go look, I had nothing better to do. I came back and told her I found what she was looking for. She kept saying thank you and insisted that she reward me. I told her it wasnt a big deal, I was just doing my job and she told me that it didnt matter and wrote down my name. I came back to work the next day and there was a card waiting for me at my register. It was from her. Telling me thank you and it had a $10 bill in it. I kept that card with me and when I was having a rough day, I'd open it and read it.

There are other times when customers would say something or even just strike up a conversation with me while I was ringing up their things that would brighten my day. One lady commented on how tiny my hands were, I told them I hated that they were tiny. She looked me, smiled and said "well, I think they're beautiful".

And of course, my long lost brother stopping by after not seeing him for almost a year (due to our busy-ness) to give me a gift. His gift was what I needed, though I know he was in more need than I was. Bro, you should know that you just being in my life is enough. But thank you for always going beyond.

Reading this site made me think of all the times a random stranger or a friend did something that was above and beyond and as much as I spend time hating how messed up this world is, maybe it isnt as messed up as we all think it is, maybe the messed up part is the only part we're really exposed to. And that in itself, is a shame.

I recently realized how tiring and how pointless it is to be angry and to hate the world and how the more negativity you put out, the more you're welcoming in. Last year, I joined To Write Love On Her Arms, an organization that I strongly believe in. This year, I joined ItStartsWithUs. I love what they stand for and though the world might not be all saved, I'm all for making someone's day or week brighter by sacrificing my time or my extra few dollars. Knowing I brought someone happiness, makes me happier than I could ever imagine being.

Monday, December 7, 2009

He's home! He's home!

Martin's been home for almost a week now, which might explain my MIA-ness. I know I've been away from the internet and believe me, I miss it too! Been spending time catching up with Martin and taking care of him, he's a little sick since I guess he's adjusting to the time zone and weather here. He's also been catching up on sleep, randomly lol. Which is fine, I'd imagine he'd be exhausted when he came home. He tried really hard to stay up when he got home even though his flight landed at midnight. But he had work that morning before they released him to go home. Poor babes.

I'm happy he's home now! We're still getting married (less than 23 days away, OMG!) and I dont know what we're going to do after that. We are going back to school and are going to have to find jobs. I've been avoiding going back to work because I just... blah. Cant. I feel like I'm wasting my life by working for some grumpy manager, you know? I dont really know how to explain it. I just feel like there's so much more to life. It just sucks that you cant really get anywhere without money. Lame! Haha.

It was suppose to snow here. It doesnt snow in CA! But apparently it snowed in the city my school is in and over closer to SF. Weak, I'm sure my town is too ghetto to get something cool like snow. Haha. But seriously, I've never seen real snow before so I was a little excited to see "snow" on the weather. But they did that last year and it didnt snow. I think I should move to Washington! Seriously.

I'll try to update more, I have a lot of things to get done this week and not enough time to do them all, which sucks. I know I should had finished all this stuff in November, but I was pretty busy that month too. One of these years I'll totally get into the holiday spirit, one of these years :)

A piece of me in: December 09'

Ah! I missed it by a day :(

This month....

I like: That Martin came home! GLEE! The Sweep book series. KFC Famous Bowls! And my hamster Boq =)

I don't like: They keep saying that there's going to be snow here and there never is! Grrr. That he got discharged so close to graduation day :( and that I have to walk down the isle for my wedding, blah!

I want you to know: I think I've completely lost interest in makeup, I know, shocking. But I havent had the urge to look at or buy makeup! Its insane.

I've planned: To stress as little as possible from now until after my wedding. And to make a new 43things list that I hope to complete by the end of 2010.

I want to say to someone special: You will never ever ever ever be a failure to me. You're still my airman and I'm still extremely proud of you. Always.