Friday, October 30, 2009

Found my wedding dress!!!


I was in love with this dress that I tried on at the first bridal store I went to but it didnt come in blue, at all. It came in a baby blue but no dark blues... so I was bummed. I'm completely smitten with that dress. I demand my sister in law has a red wedding so I can buy that dress (lucky for me, she agreed. she likes that dress too)! I had one written down that I saw from a website and I was trying on dresses similar to the one I was in love with, and surprisingly one of the ones I wishlisted they had a sample of. So I tried that on. It wasnt as lovely as the original one I wanted but its really really nice. It doesnt have a train or a long sash (which is what I kinda wanted but its kinda no big deal) but it does have that fanning out thing in the back. And its gorgeous. I got a shaw thing to go with it, I'm insecure when it comes to showing my shoulders and I got my shoes. All of a little over $300. Oh I'm so excited! We also got the table decor for $44! Michaels was having a sale, so thank goodness for that! How we're going to get it to Las Vegas without the glass shattering, I have no idea... but we'll figure something out! I really hope Martin likes my dress and the decor. Marissa will be in charge of setting up the tables if I dont come back in time since she is the one who thought of the decor in the first place!

I'm lucky to have such a helpful sister in law!

So I was pretty happy yesterday since we got a lot done, I'm just bummed I couldnt find my candle. We also got the bubbles for the wedding, we just need to get the ribbons for them now. And the invites.

I also got 4 letters from Martin yesterday. Well 3 and some paper work for his graduation. I was pretty excited but when I read them... they were really sad. All of them were. It broke my heart. I know its hard for him out there, but I didnt expect it to be this hard. He's so much stronger than that, I dont know why hes not acting like it. I know its hard for him to be away from me and to do things on his own for once, but he has to do this. I guess its just a little easier for me to be on my own cause prior to being with him, I was on my own already. So with him leaving its just like "oh, back to this" where as for him, its something completely new. I hope he graduates on time and I hope hes right about his break dates cause that means I'll get the date I want and he'll be home for Christmas.

I wish so much I could just run over there and give him a hug and a kiss and tell him I believe in him and that he can do this. And stop being a doober face about it. But I cant. I'm here, he's there, and I feel so helpless being so far away and not being able to make it better. His last letter was really really sad. I feel so bad for him. I hope things are better now. He told me about the Wiccan church, and I'm a little jealous. We call our happy place "home". My home is curled up on his lap (like a cat, literally) and his home is laying on my lap and they told them to go to their happy place and he was talking about how real it felt. Like he could touch me and he could smell me and I'm a little jealous! I'm running off memories here! But he told me it was fun, there's more to it, but I'm sure no ones really interested to know what Wiccans do plus it sounds cultish lol. I'm also a little jealous he gets to go to Wiccan church lol.

I'm a little down today because of the letter, I'm hoping the next ones wont be so sad. My friend (who went in before him) already warned me that the first three weeks will be depressing, it gets better after that. I hope she's right.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I think I'm getting sick.

Besides sniffling all day yesterday and having a running nose when I went to bed, I woke up this morning with a plugged up nose (I woke up because one of the bridal shops I called yesterday was returning my phone call... at 10AM, lovely) and feeling like crap. Thank goodness I'm staying home today. But even now, I feel all flemy and all I wanna do is nap!

Please let me find a dress tomorrow! I'm not a fan of wedding dress shopping and I really really really need to find one.

Today marks two months until my wedding and nothing is done. I'm trying not to stress, it only gives me migraines and I cant even take Excedrine anymore, so I need to just... chill.

Everything will work out. At least, that's what I'm hoping.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I lied, this weekend was eventful.

Yesterday me and the future sis in law woke up at 0645 and headed to the Ferry building to take the Ferry to SF. Man, its been years since I've taken the ferry or the Muni. We go to SF and since we got there 10 minutes early, I stopped by my favorite bakery Miette. Picked up an Opera cake and a Caramel Panna Cotta. Made our way to Muni and took it to Civic Center. I was afraid we'd get lost but we didnt, yay! Grabbed some Burger King for breakfast and went to Behind The Emerald Curtain.

Took pictures of everything, it wasnt what I thought it would be... it was basically a room that had poster boards and props and the dresses up and two members of the cast (for us it was a swinger who sometimes also plays the main flying monkey Cheshiery and also sometimes plays Boq) and Fiyero. They tell you a little about behind the scenes, the costumes, the makeup, how everything is pretty much a wig (I always wondered how they curled Glinda's hair so fast!) and things like that. You watch a few video clips, they tell you a few stage secrets, have a Q&A and that's about it. I did get to take a picture with Fiyero and I did get to ask "Boq" about the part where Elphaba makes him into the Tinman, is it two different people... cant tell you what he said though! If you want to see pictures of the event, I'll be posting them on my Flickr.

After that, went to see if they had any open tickets just to see. And walked away with two tickets for the early show haha! But the thing that sucked was the tickets I bought were $80 cheaper and wayyy closer than the previous tickets I had bought! Grrr. So we walked around, grabbed some lunch and headed back to watch Wicked at 2PM. We had floor seats! I didnt know that! But it was off to the left and though you're up close, it was hard to see the middle of the stage and the left side of the stage. Defying Gravity looked amazing that up close!

A couple bloopers from last night's show?
  • In "No Good Deed" at the end where she goes "alright, enough so be it!" and she waves her arms around, Elphaba's cape stuck to her face. You could tell she was slightly off from the vents that blew up the air so yeah she had to pull it from her face hehe.
  • In "Dancing Through Life" the duet between Elphaba and Galinda where Galinda goes "you deserve each other, this hat and you, you're both so... smart" she said "sharp" instead of "smart". Hehe.
I really really enjoyed Behind The Scenes and Wicked. Best morning ever!

After the show we headed to Powell to the Bloomingsdale mall and had dinner at Straits. We had Lobster Pad Thai that cost $39. To be honest, it was totally worth the money. I am NOT a fan of lobster, at all. But this lobster was amazing. It was juicy, it was fresh, OMG. It was good. The Pad Thai wasnt as spicy as their normal Pad Thai but it was really really good. Even the green onions in it were good and I HATE green onions! Marissa was hooked on the Roti lol! After dinner I took her on the spiral escalators haha. Got my usual strawberry shortcake thingie and headed back to the Ferry building.

We missed the ferry by 2 minutes so we went back to Hyatt and the Ferry building was having some celeb culinary show. One of the girls from the Food Network cake challenges was there. But I didnt recognized the other people. So we went back to Hyatt and walked around. I asked if they still had the rotating restaurant and they didnt. A really nice host at the lobby lounge was telling me how someone bought that Hyatt and the new manger got rid of it two years ago. Aww, that sucks. The host was really nice and friendly. He was like "but when I get enough money to buy this place back, I'll call you!" cause he use to work there lol. Got on the ferry finally and man, I was ready to nap but didnt get to.

Tiring but fun day!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Slowest yet fastest week of my life.

I'm getting to that point where I'm just itching to hear from him. I've sent him 3 letters so far since he gave his address (I'm working on my 4th one) and I know the first 2 or 3 weeks are the hardest and there's close to no communication with family and friends during that time and I'm trying really hard to stay busy and optimistic and remind myself that if he had the choice, he'd call me. But dammit this anxiety is not being friendly at all! The days are passing fast, which is great. Then I realize it's not even Friday yet! Good goly, hurry the hell up! I swear, if I dont get a letter or a call by Monday or Tuesday next week, I'm going to scream. Argh.

This weekend isnt too eventful, however I'm going to see Behind The Emerald Curtain. Which I was excited for when I bought the tickets but now all I want to do is sit at home and wait for his call. Well that and... I dont know if I still remember how to take the bus system around SF anymore, it's been five years since I last did! Everyone send good vibes that I dont get lost, please?

Trying to sell off all my jewelry is hard. I'm in desperate need to get rid of all of them so I have room for my new stuff. I also have a few free gift offers going on with my Mark store, check out the beauty blog for details. Shameless plug? Yeah, you got me lol.

Been spending some time planning my wedding and decided to get a completely different dress so I'm going to be trying on dresses tomorrow (hopefully, unless the bridal shop is really as ghetto as everyone says it is, then maybe I'll save that for another day) but the dress shop I'm going to got ALL bad reviews. So I was thinking of trying on dresses there and ordering it from another dress shop semi close to me with better reviews. I'm pretty sure my dress size is a 1. I hate trying on clothes, so so much. Trying to figure out other things for the wedding too...
  • Favors
  • Chapel decor
  • Makeup
  • Hair
  • Shoes
  • Invitations
  • Maybe ordering a small cake and having it delivered to our dinner place since we're not having a reception
There's other things but they're totally not coming to mind right now. This is so stressful because no one's helping me (my cousin is totally offering to help and I'm so thankful she is!) and my MOH is totally not being my MOH! Ugh. And I'm not sure what our budget is and of course, not having Martin's input. Though I'm sure even if he was here it would probably still be "its up to you" but still! Then again I wanna see the look on his face when he walks in and the place looks amazing and I have a totally different dress on. So when I'm walking down the isle I can be like "ahaha got you sucka!" right?! Awesome if I do say so myself!

My "best friend" finally texted me this morning (a little after midnight) after not speaking to me for pretty much a month. She didnt contact me before or after my CAT scan, my engagement announcement and she flaked on my engagement party. She texted me saying she was crying cause she misses her best friend and she's been trying to get in touch but she doesnt know how oh and she's sorry. I dont know, I'm not in a forgiving mood. She's suppose to be my best friend and she totally blew me off when I needed her the most. Why should I forgive her? Not to mention all the crap I put up with for her. Like for one her psycho mom who blows up my phone, screaming at me on my voice mail and stopping by my house looking for her daughter even when I honestly have no idea where her lying ass daughter is! I'm just done with it all. I'm not gonna cover and deal with someone who obviously only comes to me when SHE needs ME. And blows me off when I'M the one in need. I dont know, am I being too harsh?

Oh and there's this guy who's been my friend for a few years who's totally clingy. Like say I'm busy one day and I dont get on AIM, the next day he'll pull the whole "you were ignoring me yesterday". I'm just argh. I wanna turn off my phone (but I dont cause I might miss Martin's call!) and just never get back on AIM!

*sigh*. Back to finding a dress.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I hope it brings you bliss.

Me: I hope you're happy. Now that you're choosing this.
Martin: I hope it brings you bliss.
Me: I really hope you get it.
Martin: And you dont live to regret it.
Martin: I hope you're happy, in the end.
Me: I hope you're happy.
Me & Martin: My friend.

Yes, we sang a part of Defying Gravity to each other before saying goodbye. Does that make us lame? I dont really care. Its what we do, and it was actually really sad. I love you babe, I'm so proud of you. And I'm so thankful. You're my dream come true too, I'll be here waiting for you to come home. =(


So he's shipping out in the morning, I'm feeling a little numb right now. We spent a lot of time yesterday talking, trying to laugh, staring at each other, hugging, crying and kissing. "Forever isnt enough time with you". It isnt, and yes. I want more time too. I tried my best to be strong and I was surprised at the fact that I was being the strong one and he wasnt. Then he said "every drive home, you'll be okay" and I cracked. I cant believe hes really going. This is surreal, this is insane. I dont think its fully hit me yet, I'm still awake. Waiting for him to IM me saying hes going to bed. Even though hes not online =\.

I dont know what I'm going to do.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


Quick entry, I have a throbbing headache from yesterday. Dont you hate when you wake up and its still there?! But I'm not going to let it stop me from going to Witchapalooza today! Martin leaves in less than 5 days, and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can. Headache or not!

Will update later on the engagement party and Witchapalooza! =)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Thank you!

Thank you everyone for the congrats on the engagement! I'm excited! Though my ring makes it hard to wash my hands. And every time he squeezes that hand, I wanna punch him in the face. It hurts! Haha. But I really like it, he did SO well. I think hes more amazed with it than I am though, I swear he wants to see it every five seconds.

I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'm excited because now I can plan the wedding and do all the exciting girly things (minus having someone to do them with which is why I'm hoping Marissa will be free for the next few months so I can drag her around with me lol)! But at the same time, I'm sad and anxious because it just makes everything so much more... real. Him leaving for Basic Training, him being gone for the next six or so months... not being able to talk to him for the first six and a half weeks he'll be gone... our lives changing and growing up. I think I'm scared of that the most. Seriously, just thinking about it is giving me a lump in my throat and making me super anxious.

Is this normal? To be excited but scared and anxious at the same time?

I'm excited to start a new life, to finally get to start my life with him. But I dont want to leave my parents. I dont want to move to somewhere random not knowing how far away I'll be. I dont want to be away from my dog and cat. I couldnt imagine calling any other room "my room". I know I can always come home. I know I can always call my mom and dad. But it wont be the same, you know? I'm 24, I'm suppose to had already left home... but still. It feels so... scary =(.

Friday, October 2, 2009


Yesterday we went to our High School so Martin could say bye to the teachers (we graduated five years ago and we still visit it often cause we were really close to our teachers when we were there so saying bye is kinda hard for us). We have this hallway that was like our hallway. It was in front of our History class and when we were in high school we would always chill at that corner before class.

This is what it looked like when you were standing against the wall. I know, our school looks super ghetto, its a continuation high school... what do you expect! It actually looks a lot nicer now that the walls are white (and surprisingly have stayed white the last year). It was all tagged and painted up when we were in high school lol. That door is where our history class was.

Well we were walking to the hallway to check if our science teacher was there, and she wasnt. We got there like half an hour after school ended so I had high hopes most teachers would still be there. Darn.

He pulled out his cell phone and was like "read this with me" and it was a list. It was a list of 100 reasons why he loves me. And mid list he goes "I love your eyes. I love your lips. I love your face." then after it, it said "I love how that just made you laugh" haha. What a punk! After the 100 list, he read off the poem that Robin Williams reads in "Patch Adams" (one of his favorite movies). By then, I was bawling my fuckin eyes out!! Haha. Then he turns to me and goes "baby I love you, will you marry me?" he didnt get on one knee or anything, which is fine. I was too busy crying into his shirt lol! Then once I stopped crying I asked him to marry me too =). We propose to each other, it makes things fair.

Our rings =).

Excuse the tags, I was going to update this on the beauty blog. But it got too long and personal, so I just moved it here =).