Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Slowest yet fastest week of my life.

I'm getting to that point where I'm just itching to hear from him. I've sent him 3 letters so far since he gave his address (I'm working on my 4th one) and I know the first 2 or 3 weeks are the hardest and there's close to no communication with family and friends during that time and I'm trying really hard to stay busy and optimistic and remind myself that if he had the choice, he'd call me. But dammit this anxiety is not being friendly at all! The days are passing fast, which is great. Then I realize it's not even Friday yet! Good goly, hurry the hell up! I swear, if I dont get a letter or a call by Monday or Tuesday next week, I'm going to scream. Argh.

This weekend isnt too eventful, however I'm going to see Behind The Emerald Curtain. Which I was excited for when I bought the tickets but now all I want to do is sit at home and wait for his call. Well that and... I dont know if I still remember how to take the bus system around SF anymore, it's been five years since I last did! Everyone send good vibes that I dont get lost, please?

Trying to sell off all my jewelry is hard. I'm in desperate need to get rid of all of them so I have room for my new stuff. I also have a few free gift offers going on with my Mark store, check out the beauty blog for details. Shameless plug? Yeah, you got me lol.

Been spending some time planning my wedding and decided to get a completely different dress so I'm going to be trying on dresses tomorrow (hopefully, unless the bridal shop is really as ghetto as everyone says it is, then maybe I'll save that for another day) but the dress shop I'm going to got ALL bad reviews. So I was thinking of trying on dresses there and ordering it from another dress shop semi close to me with better reviews. I'm pretty sure my dress size is a 1. I hate trying on clothes, so so much. Trying to figure out other things for the wedding too...
  • Favors
  • Chapel decor
  • Makeup
  • Hair
  • Shoes
  • Invitations
  • Maybe ordering a small cake and having it delivered to our dinner place since we're not having a reception
There's other things but they're totally not coming to mind right now. This is so stressful because no one's helping me (my cousin is totally offering to help and I'm so thankful she is!) and my MOH is totally not being my MOH! Ugh. And I'm not sure what our budget is and of course, not having Martin's input. Though I'm sure even if he was here it would probably still be "its up to you" but still! Then again I wanna see the look on his face when he walks in and the place looks amazing and I have a totally different dress on. So when I'm walking down the isle I can be like "ahaha got you sucka!" right?! Awesome if I do say so myself!

My "best friend" finally texted me this morning (a little after midnight) after not speaking to me for pretty much a month. She didnt contact me before or after my CAT scan, my engagement announcement and she flaked on my engagement party. She texted me saying she was crying cause she misses her best friend and she's been trying to get in touch but she doesnt know how oh and she's sorry. I dont know, I'm not in a forgiving mood. She's suppose to be my best friend and she totally blew me off when I needed her the most. Why should I forgive her? Not to mention all the crap I put up with for her. Like for one her psycho mom who blows up my phone, screaming at me on my voice mail and stopping by my house looking for her daughter even when I honestly have no idea where her lying ass daughter is! I'm just done with it all. I'm not gonna cover and deal with someone who obviously only comes to me when SHE needs ME. And blows me off when I'M the one in need. I dont know, am I being too harsh?

Oh and there's this guy who's been my friend for a few years who's totally clingy. Like say I'm busy one day and I dont get on AIM, the next day he'll pull the whole "you were ignoring me yesterday". I'm just argh. I wanna turn off my phone (but I dont cause I might miss Martin's call!) and just never get back on AIM!

*sigh*. Back to finding a dress.


Lisa said...

I've been so, so busy recently, and I've really been meaning to comment on your recent posts, and Martin being away. I just wanted to drop by real quick and say, I'm thinking about you, and I hope you hang in there-- it's hard, but we're here to cheer you up a little. Let me know if there's something I can do, personally. I'll be back to read more carefully into this post after tonight, after my crazy classes stop for the weekend.
love love love, hang in there.

Mocmoc said...

dam foo you're getting hit hard. Don't worry man, just keep everything going on track and time will eventually pass. And whats with this business with your so called best friend? I've had many encounters like that and well, apparently, all those "friends" whom I thought was cool and good to be friends with turned out to be just a bunch of nut bags. It's really up to you to decide whether or not if you should be harsh or not. Forgive and Forget.