Sunday, August 9, 2009

Tag: 10th picture.

I was tagged by My-My! I'm always so lazy when it comes to tags lol!

* Open your first photo folder
* Scroll down to the 10th photo
* Post that photo and story on my blog
* Tag five {or more} friends to do the same

My boyfriend & Flixie napping.

Flixie... Flixie... oh how I miss him =(. This pic was taken 2/26/08, two days before he died. Flix was over two years old, for a hamster that's ancient! Their life span is about a year, so at this point he was an old old man. This was hell week for me, it was when he couldnt move his limbs any more (he had multiple strokes, from what it looked like), he was having a hard time breathing, he wasnt eating unless we fed him, he wasnt drinking unless we had the water bottle in front of him, he couldnt walk more than a few steps without getting tired and taking a nap. It was depressing. And I had the boyfriend come over everyday because I knew Flix was going to pass soon... and thankfully we were there when he passed.

Seeing this picture again actually made me sad. Even though he passed over a year ago, I still cant watch his video's without crying. I still cant read entries about him without crying. Looking at pictures has gotten easier, but its still hard to know he's gone. And now that Martin's leaving for the USAF, I dont know how I'm going to stay sane without Martin or Flix here.

Why am I so worked up over an itty bitty hamster? I've raised hamsters since I was 9. They have amazing personalities if you actually pay attention. Of all of my hamsters, Flix meant the most to me. He was my best friend, when OCD and Bi-Polar hit me hard in 2006, I would go nuts. I'd get upset and throw things around in my room and scream and he'd wake up, run up to his door and just look at me. And I knew I couldnt keep doing this, I couldnt keep letting it get to me like this when I had a baby I was scaring all the time. I had no friends back then, everything was just so hard... me and Martin were having problems and everything just felt like it was falling apart. It was the loneliest year I've ever experienced and I'd always come home to Flix and everything would be better. He was like a little dog too, I'd tell him he cant come out and play unless he drank water first and he'd always drink water. Its like he understood everything I was saying to him. I'd share my tortilla from my burritos from Taco Bell with him after work, I'd share my rice when I ate in my room... sounds crazy right? But I will never forget him. And even though he cant talk or anything, he helped me through so much.

I miss you fuzzybutt!

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